This is soo gross.....

So it's been a while since I've posted here.  Real life has a way of dragging us, kicking and screaming, from the things we really enjoy.

Yup, I do really enjoy posting my thoughts, ideas and twisted humor for all of you who bother to read/look at it.  Thank you, by the way!!

So, today is April 19th, it's the day before Easter Sunday AND it's my Birthday!!  Yup!!  I am all of 54 years old today.....notice I DID use the words "years old" instead of that stupid "years young" that most people over 50 insist on using?  Ya see, I am proud of each and every year I have survived on this earth!!  It's been a long, hard road!!  Yet, here I am, still putting one foot in front of the other and making my way down the road of life!!

Anyway, I did not start writing this with the thought of causing anyone to feel as though they HAVE to wish me a happy birthday.  I started writing this because my friend Sue (NOT the name she is known by) and I sat up last night watching last years episodes of BLACK ORPHAN.....well, we were actually talking and glancing at the TV from time to time.

It was an interesting conversation!!  LOL  And a gross one also!!

Now I'm going to do the only polite thing and clue you in on what we were discussing.  Feel free to leave at any point in time, because believe me, it will get to be an interesting, but really, really gross, conversation!

So, we were talking about the way things are around  here.  Both of us have lived other places, although she did grow up here.  She has lived in the North, New Jersey, and I lived in Ohio, and Kentucky, and Illinois.  We both worked at bartenders, and, believe me, we have BOTH heard things that most people would NOT believe.

Now that you have some background, let's get on with the conversation!!

Here, where we live, there are some things that neither of us had ever heard of before we moved here.  Not to be gross, but neither of  us had ever heard of GENITAL WARTS.

The first time someone was talking about this disgusting, virus induced, condition, someone was talking about having to get them "burned" off.  I, being the innocent (ha) thing that I am, spoke up and asked, "What the fuck are genital warts??  Better yet, HOW did  you get them, did you pick up a toad with your pussy??"

Of course, that didn't go over good with the person in question. She was insulted and got slightly pissed off, after she giggled a bit of course.  She informed me that genital warts are a virus that is sexually transmitted and that once you have them you can NEVER get rid of them.

GREAT!  So there's a virus that makes your private parts break out in warts and you have to get them burned off, only to have them re-appear at a moments notice??  WTF??

Where did this particular STD come from??  I mean seriously, WHO was the first person to contract this strange, and disfiguring, virus??  HOW did they get it??

Think about it, if you are going to engage in sex with someone DO YOU NOT LOOK AT THEM??  Come one people, if a cock looks like a stalk of broccoli it's probably a good idea to RUN LIKE YOUR ASS IN ON FIRE!!  LEAVE!!  DO NOT TOUCH THAT THING!!

Same goes for you men, if it looks like a head of CAULIFLOWER, DO NOT TOUCH!!

HOW can someone, anyone, lay down with someone if they have warts/sores/seepage/etc??  Does no one even LOOK at the particular body part that they are going to be indulging in?  Or is it that the raging hormones causes blindness and you don't notice??

I always thought that people had some simple rules where sexual activities are concerned.  I always figured that  people KNEW to not touch, caress, lick, suck, fondle ANYTHING that doesn't look NORMAL!!  There cannot be an excuse for NOT knowing what a woman/man looks like naked, there are WAY too many ways to see pictures.....internet/tv/movies/books.  Come on people!!

Even if it LOOKS normal, if it SMELLS like curdled yogurt the same rule applies!!  DO NOT IN ANY WAY HAVE CONTACT!!!   Point in fact, there is a "woman" (term used loosely) that lives in the county, she is not the most attractive person, but hey, many of us are not.  What she is though is odorous.  VERY!!
She can be two aisles over in the grocery store and YOU KNOW IT'S HER!!  Yup, NOT a good smell, kind of puts you off on the thought of food, which is usually the main reason you're in the grocery store!  Anyway, this woman not only has a man, she is MARRIED to him.  That facts brings up questions about his sense of smell.  Is he handicapped in that area??  I mean if I can smell her from two aisles over, surely he can smell her when he lies next to her in bed.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???  Water falls from the SKY, so not having water is no excuse.  There are Churches that will GIVE you soap.  So, either there is an inherent desire to smell like a well used skunk, or else there is a base problem that has yet to be dealt with.  Either way, something is wrong and MOST people would deal with it!!!

Another rule of thumb, so to speak, when you are going to engage in sexual activities with someone, PLEASE USE PROTECTION!!  Yup, I said it, I sound like a bad commercial, but I really don't give a shit!!

People, there are SOOOOO many things out there that can disfigure, traumatize, and even kill you!!  NO PUSSY/COCK is worth dying for!!  I do NOT care how good the sex is, PLEASURE IS TRANSIENT  DEATH IS FOREVER!!

Anyway, I'm done preaching!!  Now I'm going to go eat my Birthday Breakfast and go on with my day.  Maybe something wonderful will happen, at least I have been told that a person's birthday is a wonderful day.

Y'all be good!!